How would dirty talk sound if everyone actually told the truth?

Let’s face it – there can’t be that many guys in the world who have the biggest, hardest penis on earth. Nor can there be that many women who give the best oral sex a guy has every had. Dirty talk is good fun, but lying is a huge part of getting it right. Here are a few (light-hearted) ways that what we say doesn’t always match up with what we mean:

What we say: You’re so big and hard
What we mean: Yeah, it’s average, but you gotta work with what you have, right?

What we say: No-one has ever turned me on this much
What we mean: Well, except for that hottie in France, and the guy/girl behind the counter at the cafe down the road.

What we say: Do me harder
What we mean: I’m bored, let’s finish

What we say: I love it when you put your hand there
What we mean: Really, you need to be a little to the left

What we say: I love it when you take it slow
What we mean: Erm, that’s attached – go easy or I’ll confiscate it

What we say: You’re hot
What we mean: You’re here

What we say: Higher, lower, faster, slower, harder, softer
What we mean: Ah forget it, I’ll do it myself

What we say: Tell me what you like
What we mean: I have no idea what I’m doing

What we say: Those noises you make are sexy
What we mean: Are you awake?

What we say: Yeah, let me hear it baby
What we mean: Holy crap, are you enjoying this, or having a cramp?

What we say: I’ll love you forever
What we mean: I’ll love you for the next fourteen seconds

Practising dirty talk is guaranteed to spice up your love life, as long as you DON’T use our translations! Renting apartments in Lisbon and whisking your loved one away for a hot and steamy weekend may be the best way to put the fire back in your romance.

Some of them have managed to resolve this pesky little personal “detail” while others are still fighting against them. The best-known and most recent case is undoubtedly that of Tiger Woods. After a media scandal revealed he was involved in several extra-marital relations, the golfer admitted to having been unfaithful to his wife and decided to confront his sex addiction problems, and entered a rehabilitation clinic. Hopefully this therapy will help him, because the addiction cost him a 100 million dollar divorce.

That Jack Nicholson loves sex is already clear. We’ve all seen gaggle of young girls by whom the actor is always surrounded. His lawyer says the famous actor has four illegitimate children and has never used condoms. Some say that the actor was admitted to a clinic for excessive use of sexual stimulants.

Lindsay Lohan has acknowledged having dozens of sex with both men and women alike. The trouble is that this is not the only addiction that troubles the famous actress.

In the ’90s Michael Douglas, admitted to being addicted to sex and was admitted to a clinic in Los Angeles. Now it seems that all that is history and the actor has found happiness with Catherine Zeta Jones.

Charlie Sheen deserves an award for being the number one sex symbol in Hollywood. He said he has slept with 5,000 women, most of them prostitutes and not all of them so luxurious.

Even if you’re not a star, there’s nothing stopping you from loving sex. Rent apartments in Lisbon and enjoy an evening just as wild as it is romantic.

The fact is the anus is surrounded by many nerves that make it a particularly delicate and sensitive area. The mere touch of the tongue or penis can make a person melt with pleasure. If you are new to anal play, don’t rush to penetrate. Take some time to familiarize yourself with the terrain, leave behind your prejudices and begin to enjoy.

To get the most out of this sexual act, you will also need to explore other erogenous zones like the perineum. This area is located between the testicles or vulva and anus and many prefer to focus on the perineum rather than directly on the anus. But like everything in life, to each his own. Just as some prefer to start a sexual relationship directly with penetration and without much ado, others prefer to spend more time with foreplay and getting aroused with erotic games.

What is really important in all anal sex play is to overcome the barriers of fear and misinformation. It is like taking a trip to a city you’ve never visited. For example, if you rent apartments in Lisbon, while you discover the beautiful city by the river Tagus, you can also unleash these hidden pleasures which are sometimes hard to uncover.

The second story is of a wedding, also on June 7th: in Lisbon, Teresa Pires and Helena Paixao married in the country´s first gay wedding celebration since the new Portuguese marriage law was signed, after a long struggle for the right to marry. This means that Portugal is the sixth European country to legalize gay marriage. There were smiles and tears of happiness all over the room, and the couple’s daughters seemed especially happy. Long live the brides!

However, this is not a total victory because, unlike the Spanish law, the Portuguese law does not legalize adoption by homosexual couples. With more studies like the one mentioned perhaps the situation will change shortly.

The study we’re talking about began in 1986 and is the first investigation of this topic to have such a long follow-up period. Researchers found that children of lesbian mothers were more confident, and in some mental health measures, for example with regards to issues of self-esteem and aggression, were healthier than the control group. The children of lesbian unions had fewer school problems and misconduct that the children of heterosexual unions.

Researchers advanced several theories to explain the results: the mothers in the study have been very active as mothers, taking classes and forming support groups. They were very interested in their children, anticipated problems at school, made great efforts to get involved in their children’s education and prevent bullying. Their unions lasted longer than the heterosexual unions, and they resorted to corporal punishment and other methods of aggressive discipline much less than heterosexual parents. That is, the mothers did everything possible to form strong and loving families.

There is no better time to rent apartments in Lisbon, and toast to love, social progress and common sense: Love conquers all, and good parents raise healthy children, whatever their sexual orientation.

If you’re lucky enough to have a somewhat average sex life, you’re likely to hear a satisfied purr or share a cigarette. Or maybe your partner is kind enough to fumble for his slippers and bring back a snack, be it chocolate or pizza. In any case, some of the most romantic moments that can be enjoyed in a relationship are after sex. And not just romantically speaking, but also physically, as during those few minutes, your blood-flow, heart rate and respiration return to “normal,” and the sensation of sexual arousal fades out slowly and pleasurably.

In fact, many people feel particularly vulnerable in this moment, for them it’s very important to make the moment tender. In contrast there are other bloodless creatures who want to get back to “normal” as quickly as possible, and mentally organize themselves to take action, step by step, to return to absolute normality. For example, they slap off comes the condom and they check it for possible security breaches, and throw it away in the appropriate receptacle. Some jump up to shower and remove all traces of the act just performed, and of course, some prefer to eat.

If you enjoy the latter option, it is nice and romantic to eat in bed or on the terrace, naked under the moonlight. If you are on holiday in the Portuguese capital, enjoy staying in apartments in Lisbon. Many of them have spectacular views of the Tagus River, and its impressive April 25 and Vasco de Gama bridges.

So what you can expect to see this year? Well, if you keep up with trends in fashion you know that grunge is undergoing an amazing renaissance, and guess what, it is in music as well. This year, Alive features concerts by Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, Faith No More, and the Deftones. It is a perfect time to take a cousin or younger sibling to the festival, so they can share these memories with you.

But Optimus Alive has earned its reputation not just because organizers know how to bring together artists of the past as if they were curators of rock museum, but also know how to put together the best and most interesting up to the minute acts.

There will be performances by LCD Soundsystem, Florence and The Machine, Gogol Bordello, New Young Pony Club, the Gossip, Peaches and Steve Aoki …. And many other groups …. Prepare to discover new artists, and pay tribute to the grunge era. Tickets for three days are only 90 euros and available through FNAC. Organizers have done everything possible to make a balanced lineup, which includes both classics and newest music.

Bring your friends for a summer holiday in Lisbon, to see this young festival before prices go up, and it looses freshness. Getting the best lodging is easy, rent apartments in Lisbon and get ready to enjoy the best of the summer festivals.

One of the best options is to go to a green festival, such as the Boom Festival near Lisbon. The psytrance festival occurs every two years and sees the world through green glasses. The festival has a 17 page manifesto that explains how the festival will become zero impact, on an ecological level.

If you think of the typical festival, they can be quite the environmental strain: 25,000 people, with all their food, garbage, and hygiene needs, transportation … basically as much as any village, but in a very small space which isn’t necessarily set-up for so many people. Boom festival has taken several steps to balance out the impact of these instant towns.

All water used during the festival is recycled through a biological system that uses algae to purify it, and then what has not evaporated is returned to the ground. The energy for sound systems, lights, action, transport and construction has been generated by generators that use recycled vegetable oil. In 2008 they used more than 45,000 litres of recycled oil to prevent emissions of 117,000 kg of CO2 environment. At the same time they are using photovoltaic cells and wind turbines to supplement energy produced by bio fuels. As far as physical installations are concerned, they are using recycled or sustainable materials whenever possible.

The ethics of green camping has always been “leave no trace.” But of course, there is a one trace which is difficult to eliminate because it is one that you produce in situ, and not so easy or comfortable to carry in your backpack: you all know what I’m talking about…25, 000 thousand people, seven days, make for many tons of … In the Boom festival the have instituted the use of composting toilets which turn these human leftovers into a rich fertilizer. This not only saves water and doesn’t pollute, it gives a valuable source of food back to mother earth.

To prevent traffic jams and reduce emissions not only of the event it, but also those implied by the displacement 25,000 thousand people, they have organized a public bus from several places in Spain and Portugal to bring festival goers. To encourage people to take advantage of this mode of transport, the Boom Bus passengers can enter the camping one day before the rest of the public, in order to choose the best places to camp, and spend a relaxing day before the start of festival. To use this service, find a Boom ambassador in your city. To soften your return to the normal world, rent comfortable apartments in Lisbon, and rest a couple of days after the festival.

Could it really be that we are all connected by an invisible and uniting force? The answer, it seems, is yes. While Carl Jung’s idea was that there is a shared set of experiences, often inherited, that connect us all, which he called the collective unconscious, this has been expanded to include an almost mystical thread that links all human beings.

The collective unconscious works on the principle of the tipping point. When enough people behave in a certain way, there is a point when the line on the graph begins to shoot straight up – it is now part of ‘normal’ behaviour. Recycling, Twitter, fashion – all reach a tipping point that create an avalanche of awareness. We call it going viral, but there is more to it than just seeing it happen and mimicking the behaviour.

Psychological experiments show that it is easier for human beings to learn something that has already been learned by someone else – even if they have never met. It is far, far easier for human beings to do something that they already know has been achieved, even if they have never seen it. It took human beings thousands of years for someone to run the first Four Minute Mile. After that, it was achieved almost on a daily basis.

The steam engine was invented by four separate people, in four separate parts of the world, at the same time. None of these people knew any of the other three. This pattern has repeated itself with almost all of the major inventions of the last four hundred years. Anecdotally, it seems that there comes a time in the evolution of the species when a great leap forward must be made, and it does not happen in isolation. Around ninety percent of us have either been able to make someone turn around just be staring at the back of their head, or had this happen to us. It is so common, and so well documented in scientific studies, that we take it for granted as part of the human experience.

Yet the huge implications of this are often ignored. What this ordinary experience tells us is that there is a telepathic bond between human beings, even when they have never met before. No, it’s not anything else – remember, this has been studied so many times that all other variables have been eliminated. If you can let someone know you are looking at them with the power of your mind, what else can you tell them? What else can they tell you? Are we able to share our knowledge, and our understanding of the world? Imagine if you were able to absorb all of the skills and experiences of the other six billion people you share your world with right now?

What changes could you make? Could you be the hundredth monkey? Renting apartments in Lisbon doesn’t call for you to change the world – just a few clicks will get you there.

Paradox

Even as bodybuilding began to take off in the late seventies, bringing with it a wave of aerobics videos, thousands of new gyms, and nutritional research with constantly appearing, contradictory studies, surprisingly, the average weight of the population in developed countries has only increased. Beginning with the supermodel phenomenon in the nineties which held as an ideal a sculptural and iconic body, leading to the new ideal which results in skeletal parade down the catwalk of androgynous bodies, we can’t help by being stunned by the huge gap between our canonical ideals of Beauty and the reality of our bodies.

Even as they, under protest “do nothing but expand. The pressure of this new ideal is everywhere. The emaciated bodies of these girls, and the famous actresses who have apparently entered into competition with them, smile at us from advertising, magazines, television and movies, day after day …

Back to the roots

It is as if all that education about the body and nutritional indoctrination have led us to a state of complete dissociation from the same, generating massive dissatisfaction in most people with their physical state, and in worst cases, serious health problems, such as eating disorders and obesity.

This does not mean that medical and food suggestions are without warrant or value. However, we should also try getting back in touch with our common sense, perhaps a bit overshadowed by so much pressure and information, and above all, our own intuition. Because no one knows our bodies as well as we do. Yes, if you listen carefully, you know what your body needs to stay healthy.

Eat well, what you like, but without going overboard. And don’t let anyone or anything take away your drive to enjoy the summer and your well deserved vacation. Rent apartments in Lisbon, and enjoy the sunshine and the incredible delights of Portugal.

Tango, like all dances, has steps, rhythms and postures that one should learn, though it is not a rigid system. The male is the guide of this improvised waltz in which the lovers appear slide fluidly around the room by chance or perhaps driven by instinct. The woman supports herself on one of his shoulders, and is always on the tips of her toes, despite wearing elegant high heels. Her feet move frenetically following the breath of her partner, who avoids her gaze and holds her well beneath the shoulders. The steps are short or long, energetic or sultry, the music penetrating, and the silhouettes indelible. I think all of these contrasts make tango a fascinating dance to see and watch.

For me, although it is quite different, tango is perhaps even more interesting to see than flamenco, another sensual and expressive dance. In both dances, the postures are relaxed yet upright; the steps firm and grand yet light. I would go to Lisbon in a heartbeat to take an authentic class, and enjoy the different dances of the couples present. Doesn’t it strike you as the height of drama?

International Tango Festival

There are various varieties of tango: tango, milonga and the waltz. The milonga campera, sometimes referred to as the habanera of the poor, is often lighter than the tango and has colourful lyrics that tell melancholic love stories. The bandoneon, a large accordion- like instrument of German origin, similar to a concertina, is the principal instrument in these melodies.

Other dances from the Americas include the chamarrita, the choro, the candombe, the habanera and there is even something called the finish tango. It is important to consider that the origins of these dances have been influenced by migratory waves, and have influenced each other, fusing African and European traditions. Now that you know a bit about tango, perhaps you would like to find out why a city like Lisbon organizes a festival in its honour. Perhaps because it’s irresistible.

Take a look at the program, which includes world renowned orchestras and professors, demonstrations and varied spectacles, but only if you want to have a very sensual evening. Take advantage of this singular chance to take your lover to Portugal, and rent affordable and intimate Apartments in Lisbon.